No Longer Prey
Reacting to the Weinstein Scandal.
In the past few weeks the Harvey Weinstein scandal has broken to the general public and many film and TV celebrities have made statements regarding it. I'm no celebrity, but I am a member of my local film community. To echo what other women have said, Harvey's behavior wasn't surprising or shocking. My high school drama teacher (and college film professors) warned all of the young women in class about the infamous 'casting couch' and you can replace casting with director, producer, predator because it doesn't change the warning. It is a real scenario that plays out in all industries and places where women and men interact.
It is infuriating to know that women have come forward before about his behavior to each other, to other industry executives and STILL it took a journalist who could publicize his actions to remove him from his company and, now that he has been kicked out of the Academy, out of the elite of the film industry. I have been asked if I believe that he is the only predator in Hollywood and the answer in unequivocally NO. There have been too many accusations that have been silenced or brushed under the rug, despite tons of evidence, over the years.
These notable actors. directors, and producers are still making movies and TV episodes and continue to be rewarded with money, fame, and awards despite allegations or convictions. The only difference right now is that the audience cares. Some of that is politically motivated as President Trump wages war on media that aren't portraying him in the best light. For the past year, I have heard the anger being directed at my industry because we are 'liars and hate mongers.' Even when spewing this rhetoric these people continue to watch their favorite shows. Some of it is a backlash against President Trump for being a predator himself (recall the pussy grabbing and walking in on beauty pageant contestants statements for example).
Finally, we have the women who have found, like other groups before us, that we are louder when we speak out together. There are more women in positions of influence in my industry than there has been since the earliest days. Most of us, like women from all other walks of life, have been on the receiving end of attentions like Harvey's and have decided that enough is enough. We are also done with the concept that 'women ask for it' by what we wear, drink, or our physical location. It is known that the behavior of predators is about power and influence over their victims, not about sex.
The Harvey Weinstein's of the world are not limited to Film/TV/Media but are found in every industry. Predators are prevalent in our military, don't believe it? There is a 2012 documentary that garnered enough attention that our military commanders are starting to take real actions to reduce it and convict the perpetrators (The Invisible War). Then there are all of the stories from our college campuses, remember Brock Turner? The judge in that case is facing a recall because the women in his district have had enough (Washington Post). Lastly, their are my own personal experiences in retail and cybersecurity in addition to those of the women of my acquaintance who have been comfortable enough to share their stories with me.
Growing Up Female Dealing With Predators
My experiences with predators began as a child; I was molested by an 18yr old male babysitter who was the son of an Air Force Officer who outranked my father. The same babysitter attempted to rape my sister and when she told our parents, my mother said that accusing him would damage my father's career. I stayed silent at the time, but desperately wished later that I had found my voice. In 5th grade I was surrounded by 6th grade boys who were saying terrible things to me as I swung my lunch box to keep them back, I was rescued by a much larger classmate who walked me out of the situation. The following year, the ring leader chased me off the school grounds on his bicycle. None of the boys suffered any consequences of those actions despite my telling my parents and teacher. After all, they were only picking on me and I should learn to stand up for myself.In college I had defend my self from defamation, he was trying to fail me, by a professor by taking my complaint to the head of the Film department at Wright State University. I was the only woman still in the program by the time of this interaction. That professor is still teaching classes and if you check out RateMyProfessor.com you read all about Mr. Lyons and how difficult he is for female students to work with. His behavior has never improved despite students going over his head for help.
Later I worked for JoAnns Fabric and Crafts in their Akron store, off the 77, for a male store manager. He backed me into a corner of the break room when I was alone to berate me for not coming in at an earlier time despite the fact that I wasn't scheduled for that start time. I reported him to HR after which I subjected to retaliation until I was able to transfer to another store. Later, when a team member shared with me that she was interviewing with him for a position at his store I counselled her on what he was looking for: young, 'pretty,' female that would respond to his harassment as desired. She did the interview with open eyes and later agreed that despite the shorter commute it wasn't worth to work there. That store manager was never fired, instead the company moved him to a new store opening in Florida.
Then I worked for a cybersecurity tech company in San Diego. There I was constantly under pressure to be part of the 'boy's club' and never taken seriously when I explained a technical problem. One of the owners actually told me I shouldn't be overseeing a project despite being a key member on similar projects in the past. One of the VPs told me to my face that he wouldn't be giving me any more work because I was 'difficult' after I told him that he didn't provide the specifics on a project and that I didn't work for his department. The pressure I felt was universal for all of the women who have worked for that company but only a few have called management out on it. The VP was moved to the Philippines and they have moved most of their operations to Boston because word has gotten around locally that it isn't a great working environment.
Victim Blaming Starts at Home
Do I fear retaliation? Yes. It impacts my ability to find work despite the fact that these men are all in different industries. I have been accused of only wanting a payday despite my continued efforts to do my personal best in each position I've held. I've been accused of being too sensitive or disagreeable. I also find myself after these types of interactions shaking from adrenaline driven fear. Like all women who go through this, I find myself assessing how bad was it really? Is it worth reporting because the perpetrator will know from the description of the event who reported him and I will have to deal with the retaliation.I have tried to discuss this subject my husband, but he tires of listening to my complaints of male behavior as do many of our significant others. Venting is nearly impossible because of the anger, and often tears, that accompany such revelations and we don't want to appear weak. We are often asked when we do share these stories if we misinterpreted or read to far into the situation. What our significant others are failing to realize is that if we can't convince those closest to us that this behavior is occurring how can we possibly convince HR, police, legal representation?
In general, victims of harassment and sexual crime are disbelieved and discredited because it is often a he said, she said type of argument. There is usually little physical evidence and even when there are eyewitnesses victim blaming ensues. My own mother's first instinct is to ask what was the victim wearing, what was she drinking before even considering the wellbeing of the victim. I've also heard that because women are emotional creatures that our judgment is always suspect. I ask you, when did the value of a criminal's life outweigh that of his victim?
In addition to the suspicion laid at our doors by those who know us is the fact that these criminals are rarely brought to court and even fewer are convicted. For workplace harassment, victims are expected to generate their own evidence (by keeping a log) which is then suspect because they don't have corroborating witnesses and it takes many victims to remove a predator from that environment. Then, when a criminal is convicted, you have to think about those sentences which are often more about the value of the perpetrator's life than the damage done to the victim. Harassment may not be as instantly damaging as rape, but over time it also erodes confidence, security, psychological health, and damages future relationships. This we know from observation.
Impotent Fury
I am furious that it took a Times article to bring Harvey Weinstein low. And yet, he is still planning on taking the publication to court for defamation. He has also issued a statement, no doubt encouraged to do so by his personal reputation fixer, that essentially says that he is a sex addict and that he is sorry for his past behavior. BULLSHIT. He is trying to repair a reputation such that, if the general public allows it, will put him back into that seat of power he so craves.I hope he suffers the indignities and damage his victims have suffered. I hope that he feels all of that which he threatened his victims with as he bullied them into accepting his attentions.
But all of that will only be felt by one man who will drift off the public radar leaving room for another to step into his place. I doubt it will be enough to dissuade the others from harassing behavior or sexual crime.
I am angry that we have a predator for a president who proudly states that he can behave that way because he has wealth/power/celebrity status. I am enraged that in 2016 Brock Turner received such a light sentence despite being bodily removed from his victim by witnesses. I despair because our military, despite knowing about the problem for decades, is only just beginning to take their statistics to heart and address the problem. All of it is tangled up in victim blaming and contributes to the patriarchal rape culture that currently exists.
What's Next?
We have to teach the next generation that such behavior is unacceptable and we have to remove such criminals and those that collude with them from positions of power. For example, judges that give lenient sentences to such criminals should lose their positions because they are contributing to the problem. We have to teach our girls that their value is no less than any male's, that they have a voice, and we have to teach our boys the same.Don't allow yourself to be fooled that Harvey Weinstein is the only predator in Hollywood and don't fool yourself into thinking that it's only a problem in the film and TV industry. I have chosen not to remain silent because I am too well aware that it takes many voices (in Weinstein's case it took 30+ over decades) to remove a predator. I will not allow a rank or reputation prevent me from reporting and calling out predatory behavior. We have suffered enough and if I am the only voice then I will be that voice.